Monday 19 June

Doors: Doors 8pm 1st Show - 8.30pm 2nd Show 9.45pm

Tickets: £7/5 Available from

A chance to catch two full shows for less than the price of one before they go up to the Edinburgh Festival.  We aim to recreate the true Edinburgh experience – no audience, no pay for the acts, great fun!  We have an enviable record in predicting the big-hit shows before they win awards



Tormented train traveller & sit-down (when he can get a seat) comedian Steve Gribbin rails

against the current state of Britain’s Obscenely Expensive Railway System, using some of

his very worst journeys as examples. Like the anti-Michael Portillo, Steve takes us on a Rail

Rage (de)tour of cancellations, delays and overcrowding that’s enough to drive you to drive.

But he doesn’t stop there (it’s not scheduled): Steve shunts back into History to acknowledge

the immense social change that the trains have brought, from the adoption of "railway time”

(not an oxymoron) in the 1840s to the so-called ‘Narcopolis Express’ that transported the

dead out of London (also known as Southern Rail).

The show will be a mixture of stand-up, songs, poetry, sound effects and train

announcements, as Steve examines all aspects of the railways, from Beeching to Brunel,

from Steam (H2O) to HS2, from Here to Eternity (also known as travelling on a Sunday).

There will also be audience participation as Steve asks the audience to relate their

nightmare rail journeys, and even a personal dimension, as Steve’s Great Grandfather

William Wallace (no, not that one) was a Wheeltapper & Shunter knocked over and killed at

Liverpool Lime Street Station in 1930.

There will be plenty of songs, from the funereal Blues lament of "Slow Train From Burgess

Hill”, the jaunty power pop of "Excuses Excuses”, the 21


Worksong cum Sea Shanty set in

a modern Call Centre "Call Away, Boys, Call Away”, the Northern Platform Soul tribute to

Trainspotters, "Let’s go ‘Spotting’!” and finally the Gospel Hallelujah of "The People’s Train!”

The show also looks at the train-wreck that was Rail Privatisation in 1997, and the ensuing

sheer grinding frustration of modern rail travel.

Turns out the three most difficult words in the English Language are NOT: "I Love You”, but

"Bus Replacement Service”.




Mary Bourke , Steve Gribbin